Crunch Those Numbers Again the Office
| Michael Scott: | Well well well. How the turn tables-- [long silence] |
| "Idiot Idiot Idiot" | |
| Jim Halpert: | Information technology's my new Dwight band. |
| Pam Beesly: | I like it. |
| Jim Halpert: | Good correct? [picks up his phone] Hello? |
| Dwight Schrute: | [over the telephone] Idiot, nosotros're starting back up. This is Dwight by the way. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh, ok. |
| Michael Scott: | Ok. Ok. Concord on. Hold on. Tye, I would similar y'all to crunch those numbers again. |
| Accountant: | It's a plan there's no such thing equally-- |
| Michael Scott: | Simply crunch 'em. Just crunch 'em please. |
| Auditor: | [presses 'enter'] Crunch. |
| Pam Beesly: | Did it aid. |
| Dwight Schrute: | I say we fill Michael'southward office with bees. My apiarist owes me a favor. |
| Jim Halpert: | Really. Does he practise, expert work? |
| Dwight Schrute: | [scoffs] No, Jim, I apply a bad apiarist. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Case of the beet brigand. Missing beets from all over the subcontract, no footprints. Within job. Mose in socks. Boom. Example closed. |
| [calling from the Michael Scott Paper Company commitment van at 5am] | |
| Michael Scott: | Hellooo! Time to make the donuts! Oh Halpert! Wow! Boner patrol. Arrest that human being! Your donuts make me become nuts! |
| Pam Beesly: | You didn't happen to bring whatsoever coffee, did you Michael? |
| Michael Scott: | Milk and sugar! [passes back a thermos] |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh, crawly. You're a life saver. [takes a sip] Expect is this just milk and sugar? |
| Michael Scott: | That's what I said. |
| Pam Beesly: | Do y'all drink this everyday? |
| Michael Scott: | Every morning. |
| Jim Halpert: | Hey. Tin can I talk to you guys for a second? |
| Michael Scott: | Nosotros're not hiring, Jim. |
| Jim Halpert: | Actually I'k here for something else. |
| Michael Scott: | Mind, I tin't make you laugh correct now. |
| Jim Halpert: | You know I love a good guessing game but why don't I just tell yous what I'thou hither for. |
| Michael Scott: | I don't care if Ryan murdered his entire family! He is like a son to me. |
| Michael Scott: | Our company is worth nix. That's the difference between you and I. Business concern isn't well-nigh coin to me, David. If tomorrow my company goes nether I will just first another newspaper company. And then some other and another and another. I have no shortage of visitor names. |
| David Wallace: | Michael-- |
| Michael Scott: | That's one of 'em! Yes! |
| David Wallace: | Here'due south the situation. Your company is four weeks onetime. I know this business I know what suppliers are charging. I know you lot can't be making very much money. I don't know how your prices are so low, but I know it can't proceed upward that way. I'm certain you lot're scared. Probably in debt. That's the all-time offering you're going to get. |
| Michael Scott: | I'll meet your situation and I'll heighten you lot a situation. Your company is losing clients left and right. You accept a stockholder meeting coming up and you are going to have to explain to them why your nearly profitable branch is bleeding. So they may be looking for a piddling change in the CFO. And then I don't think I need to wait out Dunder Mifflin. I retrieve I just accept to expect out you. |
| David Wallace: | Ok now I don't know that I can get this, I do have to go to the board for approval. How'south most, sixty-thousand dollars. [pause] Hmm? Threescore thousand. Michael? |
| [gibberish] | |
| Ryan: | We're gonna have to talk nearly this. |
| Michael Scott: | Did I ever tell you about the day that Steve Martin died? |
| Pam Beesly: | Steve Martin'southward not dead, Michael. |
| Michael Scott: | I know. Merely I e'er thought, that the day that he died would be the worst day of my life and I was wrong. Information technology'due south this. |
| Ryan: | I never went to Thailand. |
| Pam Beesly: | Really? |
| Michael Scott: | I went to Fort Lauderdale |
| Michael Scott: | Was it nice? |
| Ryan: | Yeah "it was astonishing." At that place was a great pad thai place though. |
| Michael Scott: | I love pad thai. |
| Ryan: | You've never had pad thai. |
| Michael Scott: | No. There'southward a lot I haven't done. |
| Ryan: | E'er since I've gotten make clean there's something most fresh morning air that... just actually makes me ill. |
| Andy: | Hey Boss, uh, I just wanted to point out that I accept been hither, less time, than these guys. |
| Charles Miner: | Why are y'all telling me this. |
| Andy: | I just call back the bar should be lower for a newbie. |
| Charles Miner: | Is this something you really want to have said? |
| Andy: | I don't want to accept said that. But I call up it's important that you know information technology. |
| Michael Scott: | It'south four-xxx in the morning, practice yous know where your kids are. If y'all are Ryan'south parents or Pam'due south parents or my parents, y'all do. They're going to be in this van. With me. Who am I, zilch to fright. I am just a forty-four-twelvemonth-old guy with a paper route. |
| Charles Miner: | David, Dwight's been my guy. Ok? Yep, Jim... |
| David Wallace: | Actually? I find that extraordinarily surprising. |
| Michael Scott: | How much can we afford to pay a delivery guy. |
| Auditor: | Well if these numbers you gave me are correct-- |
| Michael Scott: | They are right sir. |
| Accountant: | --so you can't afford to pay him annihilation. |
| Michael Scott: | Ok. A lame attempt at humor. A swing and a miss. |
| Accountant: | Your prices are as well low. |
| Michael Scott: | Lowest in town! |
| Auditor: | Why practise you think Staples and Dunder Mifflin can't friction match your prices? |
| Pam Beesly: | Corporate greed? |
| Pam Beesly: | We got the van at a used motorcar lot. Nosotros think information technology says Hallelujah Church of Scranton in Korean. Information technology was either this or an old school bus with an owl living in it. |
| Michael Scott: | You lot know what you lot would love? If nosotros built a loft. |
| Pam Beesly: | Why would I dear that? Can we afford a delivery guy? |
| Michael Scott: | Similar in a dorm room. You put your desk-bound underneath, you take your loft up meridian, you can slumber up superlative. |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah I know what a loft is. |
| Ryan: | Most dorm rooms don't even accept that. |
| Michael Scott: | Most do in the magazines. |
| Ryan: | Permit'southward see what a delivery guy costs. |
| Michael Scott: | We should look into that. Or we simply go for the loft. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [on the telephone] Well, Jerry, the one who got away. [interruption] May I ask why you're leaving the Michael Scott Paper Company? Actually. Please hold. [hangs upwards the phone] |
| Michael Scott: | At that place are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he's born. The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business and the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin. What take I learned from all of this? It is far to early to tell. All I know is that I'm flying high and I don't fifty-fifty want to call back near it. I only desire to savor it. |
| Michael Scott: | Fourth dimension to make the donuts! |
Source: http://www.theofficequotes.com/season-5/broke
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